Emily Rasinski Washington DC photographer

Photo Stories: The long goodbye

In the Spring of 2004, Stephanie Miller was told her six-year-old daughter Kyla had a mass growing in the middle of her head. A year later a second tumor was found and in October 2006 an MRI showed a third tumor to be cancerous. She was given six months to live. 

  • Not wanting Kyla to miss anything because of her cancer treatments, Stephanie arranged for a life size cut out of her daughter to be delivered to her classroom the day of their official class picture while Kyla was in Washington DC for MRIs and an infusion treatment. Kayla Speelman carries the life size cut out of their class photo April 20. “She’s not very heavy,” Kayla said as she as she lifted up the cut out of her friend. Kyla’s classmates fought over who would get to carry her down the hall and stand next to her in the picture.
  • Stephanie and Kyla kneel by her bed to pray in her princess room in late January, a ritual they would perform in some form every night until her death. Stephanie would pray for Kyla to be healed and they would say the Lord’s Prayer together until Kyla was no longer able to do it herself.
  • “Attack,” Ryan yells as he jumps onto his mom and brother Mac who were already in the middle of a tickle fight April 13, 2007.  The Millers worry that they have been neglecting the boys because of all the attention they need to pay to Kyla. “Our priority is her… and doing everything we can to keep her happy and here as long as possible,” Stephanie said.
  • After leading her classmates in their fourth grade graduation parade around the school June 6 2007, Mac pushes Kyla around her fourth grade classroom as they wait for their parents to load their truck with all of Kyla’s gifts and the memory wall, called Kyla’s corner, the class made throughout the year for her. Mac slowly pushed her around the room pointing out different desks and messages written for her on the wall. Stephanie was impressed by Mac’s show of maturity and wrote on her care page “ Mac is really maturing in some ways. I said “some” not “all.” Mac wheeled Kyla in her borrowed wheelchair at school, gave her hugs and kisses, he kisses her when she’s sleeping; my heart fills with joy when I catch those moments.”
  • After a long, trying day of hospital treatments, the Millers share some family time as they walk hand-in-hand along the Mall in Washington D.C. Kyla was part of a cancer study at Children's National Medical Center, but had to withdraw when doctors found a piece of the tumor on her brain stem had gotten bigger.
  • Stephanie and Randy help Kyla into her hospital bed.
  • Randy rubs Kyla’s hands as Stephanie prepares a tablespoon of Motrin to help her with any pain July 30. 2007. Stephanie and Randy would wrap Kyla’s hand around their fingers  and ask Kyla to squeeze as they asked her questions. “Does your head hurt, squeeze my finger if it hurts” they’d ask every few hours to make sure she was never in too much pain.
  • Randy warns his sons to be careful around their sister as they get into their backyard pool to swim with her August 2, 2007. In the last month of her life her parents tried to maintain some normalcy in their lives and would push her around the pool in her inner tube to get her outside and into the sunlight.
  • Randy reaches over and rubs Kyla’s hand as the boys make fortunetellers in the family room before going to a lasagna fundraiser for her.
  • Stephanie, Randy and Mac hold each other as they as they surround Kyla’s body and Pastor Lois VanOrden prays from Mac’s children’s bible. She prayed for Kyla and for her family who were left on earth without her. “Yeah as I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil; for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff comfort me,” she read from Psalm 23. Four days later on August 29, 2007 she read the same Psalm at Kyla’s funeral service.
  • Kim Weigand puts her arm around Stephanie as she weeps holding one of Kyla’s pink pig stuffed animals.
  • “Come say bye to your sister,” Stephanie said to her sons before lifting up Ryan to kiss her before leaving to get ready for her first viewing on August 27, her tenth birthday. “This is so unreal,” Stephanie kept repeating as she saw Kyla laid out at the funeral home for the first time.
  • Stephanie, Randy, Mac and Ryan huddle together surrounded by members of the Blue Knights, a motorcycle organization consisting of law enforcement.  Kyla, an honorary member of their organization, was given an honor guard tribute as her casket left St. Paul’s Lutheran Church in Dillsburg and a bag pipe played Amazing Grace.
  • Seven-year-old Mac and six-year-old Ryan, on the other side of the casket, step in as pallbearers, helping to carry their sister from the hearse to the cemetery.
  • Stephanie and Randy huddle together around their sons Mac and Ryan after releasing purple balloons after her funeral. “Are they going to outer space,” Ryan said of the balloons. “They’re going to heaven to be with Kyla,” Randy answered.
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